HOUSES ARE LIKE SPOUSES

Back when I was looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with, I put together a list of the things I wanted in a wife. I wanted her to be thoughtful, funny, kind, hard working, principled... 

Then I met my now ex.

She was beautiful, but not long after I closed escrow it became clear that the pretty exterior covered a rotted foundation. The maintenance alone was brutal, and after 12 years, no amount of fancy wall coverings could cover up the sagging roof line and cracks in the façade. I did my very best up until she finally, mercifully, told me she wanted a divorce. 

Fortunately, she already had another buyer moved in. I was able to dump the property and let him take over the payments. 

And I learned an important lesson. One that I'm here to share with you.

When I work with clients looking to buy a house, I ask them to put together a list of things they want in a home. Then I make it a point to keep my clients accountable to their list. 

Sometimes it's hard. Just this past week, I spent several days showing houses to a couple in from out of town. One listing we saw had a pool. A pool! Pools are rare in Portland and it didn’t even occur to these people that a pool could be part of the equation. Especially in their price range. But there it was.

It wasn't easy for my clients to walk away from that pool, but they had two things that I didn't have when I ended up marrying my ex. They had a list. And they had me. 

Not me. Not her. Not Elvis.

Okay, I lied. I had both of those things. 

The difference... what the hell is the difference? 

The difference is that someone else can hold you accountable to yourself, but you have to give them permission to do so. And when my clients work with me, that's where we begin. 

The list I ask my clients to make has three sections: the Must Haves, the Pretty Importants, and the Would Be Nices. And when they find themselves seduced by the siren song of the beautiful, I remind them that they put stuff on the list for a reason. 

If they tell me that the two-bedroom house next to the freeway is the home they really, really want, I'll work my butt off to get them the best deal on it. But only after they face up to the fact that they wrote down that they included three bedrooms with a view in the Must Haves. And only after they listen to me advise them –– strenuously –– to have the entire home thoroughly inspected, all the way down to the foundation. 

Unlike my marriage, the story about my clients does have a happy ending. They managed to walk away from that house before they found themselves running off to Las Vegas and getting married to it. And after seeing four or five more places, guess what. We found another house with a pool.

And this one was perfect.

I'm gratefully, blissfully single, so you can reach me pretty much anytime at 503-715-2852 or by email at brianb (dot) mrealty (at) gmail (dot) com.